Cat of the military
by kitsune-kitty
Summary: Ed goes to report to Mustang after another mission when he sees an old lady, and the evil old lady turnes ed into a cat! edxwin... rated for ed's potty mouth
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this is my first fic so be nice!

diclaimer: if I owned this I wouldn't be **here**...

Chapter 1...

Al sighed as he headed up the stairs to wake ed. This was really hard to do, but lately al had come up with something that he hoped would work. He opened the door to his room and as loud as he could shouted "Brother! Winry said she's coming for a visit!" and with that ed bolted out of bed thinking about the last encounter with her wrench.

The only thing was that winry was really coming.

Ed left at noon to report to Mustang about their recent mission when it started to rain. Ahead of him an old woman seemed to have trouble walking. Ed may have been rude to most people but he wasn't a complete jerk and offered the old woman some help. Looking at him she smiled a crude looking smile.

"Your a state alchemist arent you?" ed looked at her suprised. (his pocket watch was hidden and he was wearing his usual clothes) Noticing the confused look her smile grew even wider. With one touch an explosion of light surrounded him, and before everything went black he heard her say, "There, now your not a _dog _of the military."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When winry knocked on ed's apartment door she heard al who sounded very concerned yell "Brother?" in response winry yelled "No al its me Winry! Is there something wrong?" al answered the door before answering the question "Ed hasn't come back from reporting to the colonial, and the colonial just called saying he hasn't even reported in yet." he said, worry sinking in to every word he spoke. "Lets go look for him then." she said trying to calm al down.

It was an hour later and Winry was walking one of the streets leading to the colonial's office when she saw a peice of red cloth in an alleyway. She stoped and soon al who had been following her stoped too. "Al, isnt that ed's coat?" al almost immediately recognized the coat and went over to discover that it wasn't only his coat all of his clothes where there. 'He wouldnt just streak...' al thought to himself.

Then the bundle of clothes moved a little and Winry jumped. Al unwrapped the clothes and found a yellow kitten with two automail limbs. The kitten's fur also grew out like human hair on it's head and went down into a little braid. Winry looked at the kitten for a second before nearly jerking it from al's hands. "Al...this cat...it couldn't be ed right?" al stayed silent for a little while before responding "Those automail limbs and the braid...this isn't possible..."

_okay, it was short (gets an evil glance from ed) I'll have the second one up shortly _


	2. Chapter 2

okay heres chapter two!

disclaimer: like I said if I owned this I wouldnt be here.

chapter 2...

He felt warm and comfortable, then he heard two familliar voices in a conversation. He opened his eyes to see an unusually large room with an unusually large al and Winry in it. He treid to say al's name only to let out a soft "meow" at witch al and Winry turned to look at him. "He's awake!" said al followed by a "That's so cute!" from Winry.

Looking down he saw two paws, one automail, instead of his arms, and looking back he saw two more paws, another automail, and a tail. ' WTF?! When did that happen?!' He thought running around the table top he was on.

The realization that al and Winry might not have recognized him made him shiver.

Al set a bowl of milk infront of ed who stopped and gave the best 'You've got to be kidding me! I'm not gonna drink this crap' look that he could.

Al glanced at Winry who was now was starting to belive the fact that her freind had actually been turned into a kitten. Then again she also had a look in her eye that said 'I wanna glomp him!'

Soon ed got bored and decided to test his voice again out of curiosity. With a great intake of air he let out very loud yet adorable sounding "mew" and that was it, Winry's need to glomp him exceeded anything else and with a quick leap she flew twords him with arms extended ready to choke the poor kitten.

Ed's eyes grew big and on pure reflex he quickly dodged the flying Winry causing her to hit the table. 'Since when did curiosity killed the cat really apply?!'

Al stifled a giggle and quickly went to Winry who was currently trying to hug/choke poor ed again.

-----------------------

With winry calmed down and ed sitting calmly on al's lap he decided that now was the perfect time to prove if this was ed or not. "Hey winry, don't you think this cat is a little **short**?" with that the cat jumped up hissing and growling.

'Okay, dosen't like milk, gets mad when being called short, this is most definately him!' he thought as the yellow ball of fur calmed down. Winry was laughing like crazy and ed still looked pissed to say the least.

Then winry got an idea. She quickly took ed out of al's lap and into hers and started scratching him behind the ears. He softly started purring and fell asleep. "Al! look at this it's so cute!" she said indicating the sleeping kitten in her lap.

"Winry, do you think this is really him?" al asked sighing slightly. "Of course it's him! I've never seen a cat turn down milk or get mad at being called short!" she said with a laugh. The cat twitched at the word short.

"Okay, but, what are we gonna tell the colonial?" Winry looked thoughtfull for a moment and said "The truth! I want to see the look on his face!"

_alright that was it! I'll type up chapter three soon...R&R please_


	3. Chapter 3

yay! here's chapter three!

chapter 3

When ed woke up he was curled into a ball next to a sleeping Winry. If he could blush he woul've turned bright red. Winry turned over in her sleep and hugged the kitten like a stuffed animal.

He could've easily squeezed away but he had officialy gone 'stuffed animal' in her arms. Just imagine what happened when al entered the room to wake Winry...

There was Winry in her nightshirt and ed almost frozen in her arms. Al laughed quietly thinking how embarasing it must be for ed. The kittens head shot up and he glared at al but the glare soon turned into a look of beging.

His eyes became bigger and glistened. A unbreakable and iresistable tactic that took imediate affect on al who woke Winry after taking the kitten out of her arms. She sat up and yawned. "hmm...al...did you confirm it yet?" asked Winry as she stretched her arms.

"Oh!" said al as he lifted the kitten up to his helmet. (yes he's still the suit of armor) The kitten tilted his head slightly. "Ed promised me that when he got back he would fix all the scratches in my armor..." he said pretending not to direct the thought twords the kitten.

Ed had almost forgotten that he _did_ promise al that he would fix all the scratches is his armor. Al set ed on the floor and the kitten walked over to one of al's metal feet, clapped his paws together, and put them to the foot. In a quick flash of light all of the scratches on the armor dissapeared.

Winry jumped up and grabbed the kitten from the floor sending him into a chokehold. "Ed! It is you!" she said spinning around with the kitten in tow. "Winry...you're choking him..." al said looking at the now blue kitten.

She quickly set the kitten down and let it breathe. "One more thing to cover ed. We need to go see the colonial now." Then ed got a look of panic on his face.'This is gonna be worse than when he calls me short damnit!'

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roy sat at his desk lookig slightly agitated. Since the office hadn't seen any of the Elrics, things seemed out of place. Any conversation held felt uncomfortalbe and short lived.

Soon there was a knock on his door and Riza entered. "Sir, Alphonse is here to see you." she said as Roy shot up from the piles of paperwork on his desk. "Send him in!"

Riza turned around and headed out the door to grant al entrance.

Al opened the door and walked into the office with Winry behind him. "Excuse me colonial..." he said as Roy walked twords him. "Al, where is ed?" he looked around the room and noticed the kitten besides Winry's feet.

"What's with the cat?" he said as he noted it's size. "Umm..well...ya see..." roy looked at it again "you know this cat looks oddly familiar..." The cat walked infront of al's foot and sat down. Roy bent down and picked it up. 'Two automail limbs...' he thought. "This cat is pretty short."

Snap

'Who are you calling so short that you cant see him over a cat toy?!' ed tried too yell but ended up in a sereis of agitated meows. Roy nearly dropped him. He turned to al with an astonished lookon his face. "Al, dont tell me this cat can also do alchemy..." al nodded. "So your telling me that this is... ed?"

_okay if you wanna see a pic of kitty ed go to deviantart dot com /deviation/61950039/ R&R!_


	4. Chapter 4

Riza walked into the room after she had heard hissing sounds from the door. "Sir, is everything alright?" she said

looking at the cat that was slowly slipping from the colonial's hands.

Roy looked at her and dropped the cat. "umm... yes! Everything is as it should be...I think..."

"Then if you dont mind me asking..." she said blushing slightly "may I hold that cat?"

Roy, Al ,Winry, and the cat looked absolutely dumbfounded. Well the cat just looked scared. Considering all facts the last thing

he wanted was to be hugged to death.

An evil smirk crossed Roy's face. "Why of course you may, I find no reason for you not to..."

Riza bent down and picked up the now helpless looking kitten. Now that she finally got a closer look at the cat she nearly droped him

as well. "So Ed... this is where you've been..."

_this chapter was very short but I hope it was to ur liking (no flames) R&R_


	5. Chapter 5

_woohoo! chapter 5! hope u enjoy R&R _

Ed who had been struggling slightly stoped after she had said it 'So Ed... this is were you've been...' he quickly snapped out of it and noded. Riza smiled and set the kitten down. Then she turned to Roy "Sir, how did this happen?"

Roy paused and gave Al and Winry a questioning look. They both shruged. "It seems that the only person we could ask is a little _short _on volcal cords..." he said welcoming the death glare the kitten shot at him.

Then the kitten froze and took on a frightened look. Winry noticed this and scooped the golden furball into her arms. "Sir..." she said taking on a tone of auhtority "it would be best if we could save this topic for a later date."

The kitten relaxed in her arms as Roy nodded. He didn't want to put up with this at the moment.

A knock at the office door pulled everyone out of an uncomfortable silence that had settled into the roon. Riza opened the door. "Riza Hawkeye?" the man in the doorway inquired. "That is me." she reponded in her usual 'work' tone. " It seems your dog got loose on the property." he said as a little dog ran into the office.

_me:laughs evily, what is black hayate going to do when he sees ed? (is black hayate a boy or girl?) _


	6. Chapter 6

The little dog rushed into the room at an impressive speed only stoping by the feet of his 'master' who looked less than amused at the moment.

A hissing sound soon caught the puppy's short attention span and he looked up to see a familliar and unfamilliar pair of golden eyes trained on him.

"woof! woof!" the cat could only comprehend that his catlike instincts came with their own animal translaters 'cat! you better run!' Ed jumped down from Winry's arms and sat calmly infront of Black Hayate putting on a his best cat smile.

'Hi Hayate!' the puppy stared at the cat for a good long while contemplating the reason the golden furball even knew his name, then sat on his hind legs and jumped the unexpecting kitten.

'Its Edo-kun!' he barked between licks.

----------------------------------

After the dog had finished giving poor Ed a spit bath he stood up and shook himself off.

'You're smarter than you look...'

'What? I dont look smart?' Hayate wimpered giving Ed his 'puppydog eyes'

Ed sighed. 'No! No! You look really smart!' he meowed hearing Winry squeal in delight at the sound.

'Alright then...but how did Edo-kun get like this?'

Another scared look croosed the kittens face and he finnaly replied,

'I dont remember...'

_well...it's been a while since I've updated but it was still short...oh well R&R!_


	7. Chapter 7

_Wah! Im soo sory it took so long! Enjoy!_

The puppy could only sit and stare as he digested the fact that the kitten had told the truth.

'Im sorry Edo-kun...'

Ed looked at Hayate a moment. 'It's not your fault.I just don't remember' he sighed bringing his paw up to his head.

Hayate tilted hid head. 'Is Edo-kun alright?' he asked striding over to where the cat sat.

Ed paused a moment. '...Yeah...just a headache...nothing much...'

'Alright...' Hayate said and left it at that.

----------------------------------------------------

Winry could only stare in wonder as Ed and Hayate comunicated. She could only guess what they were saying but as soon as Hayate began to walk off she picked Ed up and held him close.

He looked up at her in confusion. 'what?' She smiled softly, a look of endearment gracing her features. " Lets go home ed..."

When Ed, Al, and Winry arrived at home it was already pretty late. Ed had fallen asleep in winry's arms and she couldnt help but to giggle whenever he would cuddle into her arms searching for a comfotable spot.

"Al, Im going to put him upstairs okay?" she wispered hoping that she wouln't wake Ed.

Al nodded and she began to make her way up the stairs. She entered the guest bedroom and set him down watching him roll over while once again trying to find a comfortable spot. 'I wonder...'

Being carefull not to wake him she scratched one of his ears and giggled when the kitten started purring contently. 'This is so cute!'

Boy, did Winry get a suprise when the kitten (who was still sleeping) rolled over so that he was now facing her and licked her hand. She turned bright red infact.

She stood up in a flurry and left the room to help Al prepare supper though her thoughts were _far _from that.

Al turned from his current job, chopping vegtables to find Winry as red as a cherry. "Oh no! Winry are you okay?!"

Her blush deepend. "Winry?"

"I-Im okay Al..."

"Alright then." He decided to leave it and turned back to his task at hand.

Winry filled a pot with water and set it on the stove. She had told Al that even though Ed was a cat, she was pretty sure that one of them would and up with a claw to the face if they attemted to feed him cat food, so they decided to make his favorite; stew.

She almost laughed imagining Ed with his paws trying to hold a spoon, and true to her thoughts that night Ed had done just that.

_okayz, plz no comment on how short it is! R&R_


	8. Chapter 8

_I have nothing to say...i think...don't own, wish I did...ect..._

Chapter 8

Winry smiled when she found Ed curled up in a white shirt he had found lying on the floor. (probably his own) She turned off the lights in the room before heading to her own room. she curled up in her blanked sighing contently before dozing off.

The next morning Ed awoke to a suprise. He stared at his hands with excitement. His _hands_! There was no fur either! Luckily when he awoke the shirt had covered him. Wait...now that he noticed it the shirt was baggy, _very _baggy. He yelped running to the bathroomto look in the mirror. He couldn't see over the sink. 'This can't be happening!' he thought as he stared at the handheld mirror he had managed to find. Sitting on top of his now almost human head where a pair of cat ears. He turned around slightly only to be met with the sight fo a tail.

Ed sunk to the ground in defeat. 'Damnit! Im still not back to normal..wait a minute!' He jumped up almost happily. 'If im like this then maybe!' the thought. He strode proudly to Winry's room swinging the door open and taking a deep breath ready to give her the loudests wake up call he could muster. But...nothing came. 'Noooooooo!!!!' He once again sunk to the floor in defeat now staring at the most interesting stain on the wooden floor.

A rustling sound drew his attention away from the floor and he looked up to find a very shell-shocked Winry.

"Edward?"

His ears perked up.

"Oh my Gawd!!!!!"

Ed quickly tryed to scamper away before he got caught in her death glomp. No success.

"What happened?! Oh never mind that you're sooooo cute!!!!"

He started turing blue.

"Ah! sorry!!!"

She quickly seperated herself from him.

"Well then...I take it you still can't talk?"

He nodded.

Before she could say another word Al burst into the room.

"Winry is every thing-Brother?!"

Ed gulped.

"You're soooo cute!!!!"

'Noooooo!!!!!'

_Hope you liked it! This time instead of just typing it I wrote it down firt so i think it might be a little better!_

_R&R!!!!_


	9. Chapter 9

A month. That's how long that he had been like this. A month of trying to resist the urge to lick himself. A month of hairballs and Winry's evil "Kitty Glomps". That wasn't it either! Nooo! There just had to be more! Now he was so close to being normal, but that all flew out the window with the addition of being extremely short, cuddly, and adorable. Why?! Like having skin wasn't enough, just throw a pair of cat ears and a tail on and see how many times you can suffer from a lack of oxygen and see how smart you are at the end of the week!

As you can see Ed wasn't in the best of moods. After being pulled outside by Winry to "enjoy the sunshine" some greater power had decided it was time for a shower. The sky quickly clouded over and before he knew it he was soaked. With his cat reflexes he dove inside the house when Winry opened the door, and ran to his room.

Winry watched him take off up the stairs, startled after he had nearly knocked her off the porch. "Ed!" she called after him, quickly making note of all the mud he had tracked in his haste. "Get back here and clean this up!" A sneeze came from upstairs. "Oh, great..." she sighed.

She took off her shoes and made her way up the stairs carefully avoiding the spots of mud. "Ed!" she called again. She stepped into his room and found him snuggled up on his bed wet clothes and all. She walked up to his bed and shook him gently. "Ed, if you don't change out of those wet clothes you're gonna get sick." He whined but sat up anyways. "Okay..." he said sleepily, his cat ears drooping slightly. He started tugging off his shirt and Winry blushed and made her way to the door. Although she had seen him shirtless many times she was sure that in the state he was in he would pay her no mind even if he where tugging off his boxers. She turned a deeper shade of red and quickened her pace joining Al downstairs and helping him cook dinner.

Ed curled up deeper into a ball. He was so cold, though he didn't understand why. The smell of food drifted from downstairs and though it did smell good, Ed felt queasy at the scent. He wimpered and tried to curl up even more.

"Ed!" Winry called from the downstairs kitchen, "Dinner time!"

Ed winced, this time realizing the throbbing in his head.

"Ed!" he heard her call again.

He heard the sound of footsteps. The door opened and he shied away from the light, it made his headache worse. "Ed?" Winry stood in the doorway for a few seconds before she entered the room shutting the door behind her. "Ed, you alright?" she asked walking towards his bed. He whimpered again. A cold hand was placed on his forehead but was quickly pulled back. "Hot!" he uncurled himself and looked up at her hazily. "Ed, stay put. I'll be right back, okay?" there was a hint of concern in her voice. He nodded.

She left the room and returned after a few minutes holding a bowl of ice water and some washcloths. She placed the bowl on a stand next to his bed and placed one of the washcloths in the water. She wrung the cloth out and placed it on his forehead. He winced. The cloth was very cold and he was already cold as it was, or so he thought.

_Hmm...thats all for now...R&R u know the drill..._


End file.
